Performance Anxiety - The Sexual Stressor

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Especially in men, performance anxiety can be a serious problem. Often developing in middle age or times of extreme stress, this form of anxiety can leave both partners unsatisfied and confused. It is very important to talk it over with the other partner if he/she is a compassionate individual. Just tell them what your are going through and that you are seeking a better sex life. They should understand, and this conversation alone could cure you!

Performance anxiety is a very common sexual complaint. More commonly seen in men, worrying about ones sexuality can deeply affect your self esteem as well as your relationship with your partner.

Mental and Physical Stressors

As in every case of anxiety, the root of the problem should be determined. Once the cause is figured out, the battle is half won. Then the anxiety relieving strategies can be planned, putting all your concentration in one direction.

Physical stressors like cold weather, physical exhaustion, large meals or heavy consumption of alcohol can often be the trigger of poor sexual performance. These factors are reversible and if proper attention is given at the proper time, sexual activity can be brought back to normal. In the same way, the affected individual may be on certain drugs, which have sexually related side effects, like those that interfere with libido or erections.

Mental stressors are more difficult to control. One can be worrying about several things at one time, like bills, health, family affairs and work. Low self esteem, in which the patient feels like a failure, is often the cause of performance anxiety. Such problems take a lot of time and patience to overcome. Therapy is often the only way to help such people.

The partner plays a very important role in helping performance anxiety. Often the situation is worsened by a selfish, uncaring sexual partner. Understanding the helplessness and loneliness of the patient is the first step in maintaining a strong relationship and getting the sexual life back on track.

Performance anxiety can be helped by focusing on the problem and finding ways to eliminate the cause. Often, the patient considers himself a lesser man due to his poor sexual performance. These people are ashamed of themselves and often avoid seeking help. Medications help, and there are several different categories depending on each individual situation. Self hypnosis is also used as alternative therapy and is found very helpful in some cases.

Performance anxiety in most cases is not a permanent dysfunction. Sexual activity should not be avoided due to fear of not performing. Like in all cases of anxiety, the anxiety should not be allowed to take over the daily routine and likes and dislikes of the patient. Regular reassurance and compassion by the partner is a strong tool to help the patient regain confidence and enjoy a healthy sexual life.

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